Crowdfunding is a popular way to raise money for everything from birthday bashes to political protests. But on some of the big online fundraising sites, you鈥檒l find public pleas for something far more personal 鈥� infertility treatments.
Julia and Greg Fry married in 2013. (Bridget Rochelle Photography/Courtesy of the Fry family)
Greg and Julia Fry of Ithaca, N.Y., were in their early 30s when they got married three years ago and set out to start a family. But a year passed, and they didn鈥檛 get pregnant. Six more months went by and, still, no baby.
Greg said then they went to a specialist. 鈥淲e started to do some tests to try and find out what was happening with both of us,鈥� he said. 鈥淎nd we wound up realizing that fertility treatments were what we would need.鈥�
So they began with a less costly and less invasive option: or intrauterine insemination. That鈥檚 where sperm is inserted with a catheter directly into the woman鈥檚 uterus at the time of ovulation. The procedure costs, on average, just under $1,000 a try. The Frys tried four times in the past year 鈥� with no luck.
鈥淭his, by far, is the hardest thing that we鈥檝e ever been through together,鈥� said Greg. 鈥淭here is always hope going into every cycle. And that hope, sort of, gets dashed at the end of the cycle, and then we start again.鈥�
The next step they took was to try , or IVF. This involves retrieving eggs from the ovary, then fertilizing them聽with sperm in a laboratory dish. The embryo is then transferred into the woman鈥檚 uterus. It can cost $15,000 to $20,000 each try.
At first, Greg said, they thought about going聽overseas for more affordable treatments, but travel costs would have gobbled up any savings. So, they went online instead, to the crowdfunding site giveforward.com. They聽 a video in which they talk about their decision to ask for financial help.
鈥淵ou know us as Julia and Greg,鈥� Greg begins. 鈥淭he couple with so much love to give,鈥� Julia continues, and they alternate telling their story.
Asking for IVF assistance is becoming one of the fastest growing crowdfunding categories, according to , CEO of . It has outpaced all categories except adoption in 2016. 鈥淲e believe this trend will continue into 2017,鈥� Chapman said.
Most health insurance doesn鈥檛 cover infertility treatments. That was the case for Janet Carter and her wife Jackie. They live in Charleston, S.C., and both have job-based health insurance.
Janet said that was helpful for the diagnostic part of their process. 鈥淸The insurance] will cover anything that is testing beforehand, like any underlying issues that are leading to the need for fertility treatment. They do not cover any of the actual procedures at all,鈥� she said.
As their August, 2015 wedding approached, Janet said they asked their guests to consider giving them cash for fertility treatments.
鈥淲e not only had a regular registry for Target, but we also decided to have it be an option for our friends and family that wanted to be a part of us starting our little new family,鈥� she said.
Janet, left, and Jackie Carter married in 2015. (Brian Fancher Photography/Courtesy of the Carter Family)
The wedding guests gave them about $3,000, which they used to help pay for nine failed IUI attempts. Then Janet wanted to try asking friends again for money, this time for help with IVF. But Jackie wasn鈥檛 so sure at the time.
鈥淒oes it seem like we鈥檙e begging, or asking people for money, you know? Am I ready to do that? Am I ready for people to be that involved?鈥� Jackie recalled.
So they asked friends for their opinions about crowdfunding, and the support was resounding, save for a wee bit of hesitation from Janet鈥檚 mom.
鈥淪he just doesn鈥檛 really agree with it necessarily, and I think that鈥檚 just a generational difference in opinion,鈥� Janet said.
But, Jackie became convinced.
鈥淚 realized, 鈥楬ey you know what? There are thousands of people out there using these crowdfunding sources for honeymoons and, you know, maybe things that aren鈥檛 as impactful as having a child,鈥� 鈥� she said.
The couple went forward with a site called, , that鈥檚 helped them raise about $5,000 so far.
Still, crowdfunding is hard for a lot of people, says , who writes about fertility issues.
鈥淚 wouldn鈥檛 do it unless you have a lot of social connections,鈥� she said. 鈥淎 lot of people think that it鈥檚 automatic 鈥� they鈥檙e going to put it up and raise a bunch of money. And they鈥檙e not 鈥� and that can be really disappointing.鈥�
Indeed, dozens of IVF campaigns on these sites show $0 raised. Both the Frys and the Carters received money from friends, family and some acquaintances, which is more typical for these crowdfunds, Gurevich said. Most donations range between $20 and $100.
Julia and Greg Fry (Courtesy of the Fry family)
Janet and Jackie Carter (Courtesy of the Carter family)
Greg and Julia Fry鈥檚 crowdfunding page has earned about $1,200.
鈥淚t鈥檚 been very positive 鈥� everybody that I鈥檝e worked with,鈥� said Julia. 鈥淧eople come up to me. And they鈥檝e come into my office and they hand me $20,鈥� she said. 鈥淭hey say, 鈥榃e love you guys. We think you will be such great parents 鈥� please take it.鈥� 鈥�
Their friend Jordanna Larish gave $50, even though she鈥檚 unemployed right now. 鈥淛ulia and Greg are incredibly generous people, always helping others,鈥� she wrote聽in an email. 鈥淭hey鈥檝e been trying for so long to have a baby, and they鈥檒l be excellent parents.鈥�
Jessie Simpson, who is a friend of Jackie and Janet Carter, said she gave them $500 鈥� 鈥渁nd a whole lot of prayers.鈥� Simpson was moved by how easy it had been for her to conceive聽her son and how difficult it has been for her friends.
鈥淲atching their struggle for over a year, all while the medical bills rack up each month, it was heartbreaking,鈥� Simpson wrote in an email. 鈥淭hat is the power of crowdfunding though 鈥� connect their story to your experiences and you want to melt in a puddle of tears and give them the shirt off your back.鈥�
Jackie and Janet Carter are using their fundraising to pay down a credit card bill for their IVF. And Janet is now pregnant 鈥� their baby is due in June 2017.